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Perfect Act

And We're Live

** EXTREMELY IMPORTANT (and a little long, sorry but you gotta read it) CHAPTER NOTES AT THE END. PLEASE READ. YES YOU, YOU READING IT....DONT SKIP OVER THE AUTHORS NOTE THIS TIME**



Harry's PoV
"Bella, we're home. Wake up." I shook her slightly. We had driven home today, and Bella had slept the whole way, her head resting on my chest. She shook her head, refusing to open her eyes.

"Bella c'mon we gotta go inside." I whined.

"No." She replied stubbornly.

"Fine." I huffed. "I'll leave you in the car." She just shrugged, knowing wouldn't. I shook my head and got out of the car (everyone else had gone inside already), leaning down to pick her up. She's very light. She clutched onto my shirt and leant on my chest while I carried her. Our presence immediately caught the attention of fans and paperazzi.

"Oh my god what happened to Bella?"
"Is she okay?"
"did something happen while your were away?"
"Is she sick?”

As people started to panic I quickly spoke.

"No no she's fine. She's just sleeping." I assured them. I heard Bella scoff.

"Trying to.." She murmured so only I could hear her. I chuckled and made my way up the the apartment, taking her straight into her room and putting her in bed, letting her sleep.




One week later

"Are you sure you're okay doing this thing live?" I asked Bella once more.

" Geez Harry for the last time yes! I swear to God if you ask me one more time-"

"Okay okay." I held my hands up in surrender. We were doing the truth or dare show with Eliza and Louis in a few minutes, I was a little worried at what the questions might come up as. All the questions were sent in two days ago, and all the others spent ages going through a bunch of them, taking out some that were way to personal or weird, leaving us with a hat-full each of possibilities.

"You two ready?" Eliza popped her head out of Bellas room, where Louis already was. We all sat down in front of the laptop, Bella on my lap. Eliza clicked a few buttons.

"Okay, we're live." She smiled.

"Hello!" I waved at the little camera. "Thank you all so much for sending in the truths and dares. This is different to anything we've ever really done because its just us four sitting on Bella's bed with a laptop. Lets get right to it. Who wants to go first? Louis, you can," I smiled charmingly and he rolled his eyes, picking a slip of paper out of his selection. He smirked at the paper.

"Okay, this one Niall saw yesterday and he made me do it then, I won't do it live but I will show you it, recorded." He smiled.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"It says 'since we all know how Bella loves her sleep, wake her up without being hit or sworn at.' Niall recorded me attempting that this morning, so lets have a look." He smirked and clicked on the video before Bella could protest. Bella tried to click off it but Louis held her hands back. I watched as the video recorded. It started with Nialls face.

"Hello! We're about to watch Louis get killed." He smiled cheerfully. The camera moved to Louis' face.

"Why do you sound so happy about that?" Louis accused. I heard Nialls laugh and then saw his arm push Louis to Bella's door. He slowly opened the door and peaked inside, then opening it wider so Niall could come in. The screen came to focus on me and Bella in bed, her in my arms. Louis snuck up next to Bella and shook her.

"Rise and shine?" He asked hopefully. Bella groaned and leant further into me, who was still sleeping.

"Bella please wake up." He's spoke gently.

"Fuck off and leave me alone." She whined. Louis had muted the swear but it was still obvious.

"No, you need to get up." At this she whacked him on the head and yelled at him to -and I quote- 'leave me the fucking hell alone before I rip your head off'. When Louis clicked off the video Bella was facing away from the camera, leaning into me with red cheeks.

"Well, that wasnt a success but I still enjoyed it." Louis smiled triumphantly.

"Your mean Lou." Bella pouted and turned back around.

"Naww you know I still love ya." He leaned over and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. She scrunched up her face and wiped it with the back of her hand.

"Eww Louis you got spit on me." He just laughed.

"Why don't you go next Bella?" She rolled her eyes and picked a piece of paper, reading it out.

Truth: Not including anyone from One Direction, which celebrate (this includes youtubers) would you date?

"Dan Howell." She answered with no hesitation.

"That was awfully quick." I raised my eyebrows. She shrugged.

"I like his videos. And he's hot...and funny." She smiled, obviously enjoying my reaction.

"Naww Harry your so cute. My true celebrity crush will always be you." She bit her lip. I couldn't stop the smile creeping onto my face, so I leant down and kissed her.

"Well I don't have a celebrity crush because I have you." I whispered. Now if was her turn to blush.

"Okay lovebirds stop being all cute. Is your turn Harry." Eliza smiled at us both. I laughed and picked a slip of paper.

Truth: Who is the most beautiful girl ever?

I scoffed.

"What sort of a question is that. Bella obviously." I pulled her closer to me. She smiled, blushing and looked up at me.

"I love you ." I leaned forward so my lips were touching her ear.

"To every star and back." I whispered, not everything I say needs to be heard by the millions of people watching. She blushed as I pulled back away and leant my head on her shoulder.

"Your go Eliza." Louis said, but his gaze were focused on me and Bella I noticed something in his eyes as he looked at the two of us together. Longing. I frowned slightly, him and El are happy, right? I snapped out of my thoughts when Eliza read out her dare.

Dress up as a crazy obsessed Directioner and go out in public, telling people about how much you love One Direction.

She looked up from the paper with pursed lips.

"This should be fun, very fun." Bella smirked at her friend, standing up. And clicking a few buttons on the laptop, suddenly the screen changed views.

"Okay, now the camera from my phone is what's showing, so we can leave the building." She held up her phone.

"But we don't have One Direction clothes." Eliza brightened up.

"Don't worry, I have an idea." Bella smirked, we all followed her to the elevator and when we got off she walked straight through the doors of the building, immediately jumping at all the screams. Everyone was holding phones and shit, the live show on the screens. Bella scanned the crowd.

"Wait here." She handed me her phone and I nervously watched as she went over to a girl. She said something and the fan nodded so fast I thought her head would fall off. Bella walked around the screaming fans and came back with 3 girls. She pointed to one.

"Shorts, hat." She pointed to another. "Shoes, jewellery." She pointed to the last. "Top, face-paint."

"So I'm gonna wear their clothes?" Eliza asked, Bella nodded. We went back inside and Eliza exchanged clothing with the girls, who were smiling but hadn't said a word.

"When we come back we'll give you your stuff back," I promised them, causing one girl to stumble back in awe.

"O-okay," they nodded, still wide eyed. Eliza groaned, looking at her new outfit.

"I look horrible." She whined.

"Nah I think Louis' and Niall's heads on your boobs looks great." Bella spoke cheerfully, pulling Eliza out of the building.

"Wait wait! I think I have an idea." Louis walked over to Eliza and took her hair out. She turned around, confused.

"What are you doing?" She cautiously asked.

"Wait and see. Now turn back around." He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, then put her hair into two ponytails, one high up on either side of her head, just below the cap. Bella burst out laughing and took my phone, taking a lot of pictures.

"Ugh I hate you guys." Eliza rolled her eyes. We caught a cab to the a supermarket a few streets away, going inside and pointing to a girl who looked about our age.

"She can be who you first go up to." We all smiled watching a Eliza go up to the girl. She started fan girling about how great One Direction was and how much she loved them. The girl gave her a look as if to say 'you're fucking insane' before walking off. Eliza laughed and came back to us.

"Is that it? Can we go?" She asked, eager to get out of all the One Direction clothing.

"Oh C'mon that was only one person!" Louis argued. Then a man, probably late sixties, walked up to us.

"Bella? Bella Ramos? And Eliza Wright? Is that you two." The two girls turned around and grins split out on there faces.

"Mr. Todd!" Bella perked.

"Oh you two girls look so grown up, you would have graduated school, am I correct?" He asked. I looked at Louis, wondering if he knew who the guy was. Judging by the look on his face, he didnt.

"Yea we're out of school now." Eliza replied, to which the teacher chuckled.

"I'm guessing your glad about that." He looked at me and Louis. "This one was always talking during class, could never keep her mouth shut for more then two minutes." He pointed to Eliza who blushed and laughed a little awkwardly. "But Bella...she was my star student. A+ on every assignment, handed in everything early, did her work. Always a quiet one though, more of a wallflower then a girl in the spotlight." He nodded to himself thoughtfully.

"So girls, how are you? How's living in Sydney going?" He asked, a smile still present on his face.

"It's great, may I ask why you're here though? Shouldn't you be teaching right now?" Eliza asked, curious.

"Oh I'm just on a little vacation, visiting my grandson for the week." He smiled again.

"Well enjoy your stay." Bella grinned at him. He told us he had to go before walking off, Bella and Eliza watching admirably as he left.

"Aww I missed him, he was so nice. Literally the only teacher I ever liked." Eliza stated.

"That's because he was the only one who could last the lesson without having a mental breakdown because of you." Bella rolled her eyes at Eliza who stuck her tongue out. I suddenly remembered we were still on camera, Bella noticed as well.

"Oh right, that was our English teacher from year 8-10 I think it was. Such a sweet old man." Bella smiled at the camera on the phone before taking it back. We agreed Eliza had been embarrassed enough, since her teacher saw her in the ridiculous outfit, so we headed back home. After Eliza was in her own clothes again we went back to Bella's apartment to her room and switched the camera back to the laptop one.




Bellas PoV
"Louis I believe its your go." I smiled up at him, once again comfortable in Harrys arms. Louis huffed and took a slip out of his hat.

Truth: How long have you known about Bella and Harry? Do you ship them.

He thoughts for a second, presumably deciding whether or not to lie about the first part of the question.

"Well I've know about them as long as the fans have actually. And yea I definitively ship them. They're very cute together and they make each other happy." I smiled warmly at Louis for his response. "Harry your go." He was quick to move on.

Dare: Melt as much butter as possible into a crumpet...then eat it.

I scrunched up my face at the thought, then looked around, seeing that the others had similar looks on their faces.

"That sounds horribly disgusting...lets do it." Harry lifted me off his lap, taking the laptop into the kitchen while I found a crumpet and put it in the toaster.

"Bella will we have enough butter for this, you know, since we live with Niall." Louis asked.

"Louis, we live with Niall. We have enough butter to cover an elephant." He laughed in agreement and got out a large block of butter from the fridge. I jumped when the toaster popped, then got out the crumpet.

"Off you go Harry," I smirked, wondering how he was going to do this. A first, he just tried smushing it all in. When he realised that wouldn't exactly work I got out a bowl for him, putting the butter on top of the crumpet and in the bowl, then in the microwave. Eventually, once we had gotten a hell of a lot of butter into/on the crumpet, Harry picked it up. It was literally dripping with butter.

"That's revolting." I remarked.

"You're not the one who has to eat it." He frowned at the thing in his hand, taking a breath and then having a bite. It made the most awful squelching sound and Harry turned away instantly, covering his mouth with his hand. I watched painfully as he swallowed it. He took another bite and shook his head.

"Oh god I can finish that." He moaned in disgust, looking at us.

"Uh uh, that thing is not staying in my bin and making the whole place smell of butter for the next week." I shook my head. Harry raised his eyebrows, and I understood what he meant.

"Ohhhh no I am not eating that." Eliza and Louis both shook there heads intensly.

"I will take another slip after this if you guys finish it." He tried to persuade us. Eliza huffed and took the crumpet, taking a bite. It was clear from the look on her face that it was not pleasant, but she handled it better then Harry. Louis handled it even better then Eliza. Then there was one bite left. I gulped, watching the butter drip off it. I huffed, putting the thing into my mouth. As soon as I brought my jaw together, the butter all exploded into my mouth and throat.

It was horrible.

I immediately ran to the bathroom, staring to throw up the horrible taste. I heard Harry rush in after me, asking if I was okay.

"I'm fine, I just need some water." I replied, smiling convincingly. He frowned, but left to get some water. I let the fake smile drop off my face, praying to god that Harry didnt think to much into why my gag reflexes were so quick to work. He came back 10 seconds later with a glass of water.

"Here, I'm just gonna tell Louis to stop the record-"

"No you don't need to stop, just give me a minute. It's not like I'm ill it was just the taste of all that butter." I smiled and rinsed my mouth with water.

"Bella-"

"Harry, its fine." I cut him of, smiling. He sighed but didn't argue, which I was grateful for. After a few minutes we were all sitting back in our same positions on my bed. I quickly read a few of the comments on the screen. They were all things like are you okay Bella? I smiled, happy that the fans didnt give me too much hate.

"Okay I believe Harry the deal was you need to pick another slip." Louis pointed out. "And I think you owe it to Bella anyway." Harry rolled his eyes and took a slip.

Truth: Do you love Bella?

I felt Harry scoff and looked up at him. His face showed utter confusion.

"What sort of a question is that? Of course I love her!" I bit my lip and blushed, leaning back into him more. I felt him arms tighten around me as he placed a delicate kiss to my cheek.

"I love you too." I whispered back. Harry rested his head on my shoulder, his arms securely around me. It was moments like these I really knew I didn't deserve him. Harry was such an amazing guy, and I love him with all my heart, but he deserves so much better. Moments like these, when he holds me close to him and I know that he is mine and I am his, I can't help but know how but better he is then me. I'm too selfish to let him go though.

"Louis, your go." Eliza passed him his bag. He took out a slip.

Truth: Whats your opinion on Bellas and Eliza's accents?

"Well." He started. "I love them, I think there really cool, and really cute when they say a bunch of things. Ohh but when they get mad its scary...like wrestlers would be crying for their mamma's scary. Although to be fair they do usually have a right to get mad when they do." I laughed at his response.

"Mhhh that's true." I felt Harry's chest vibrate as he chuckled from behind me. I felt my phone buzz so I picked it up. 1 new follower on twitter, I shrugged, honestly I get so many new followers every day I usually don't even bother to check. I unlocked my phone, seeing who the new follower was. When I saw I squealed and dropped my phone, quickly scrambling to pick it up again.

"What is it, what's wrong?" Harry asked, panicked. A smile broke out across my face as I showed him the phone. He laughed and shook his head.

"Ed fricken Sheeran is following me on twitter!" I bounced like a 11 year old fangirl.

"Lemme see," Eliza snatched my phone, her eyes bulging when she saw.

"Damn." She smiled.

"I know. Ed Sheeran is following me on twitter!" Ed fucking Sheeran! He is like my favourite artist.

"Aww she's fangirling. How cute." Louis tapped my nose with his finger.

"Oh shut up Tomlinson! He's Ed Sheeran!" Harry laughed again and pulled me back onto his lap.

"You're quite adorable, you know that?" He left a soft kiss on my neck, no Harry, I'm not adorable, I'm not special or beautiful or any of those things you have ever called me. Instead of responding I let out a very real sounding, but completely fake laugh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We continued the truth or dare thing for a little while longer, and it was quite fun. Eliza had to explain if she liked Louis or not (she said now he was tolerable.) I had to play FIFA against Harry until I won. Harry went extremely easy on me and Louis was practically playing for me. Louis had to wax one of his legs, he screamed like a little bitch. There were quite a few more before we decide to stop. Eventually everyone came home and we all sat down around the couches to have dinner. We had some Vietnamese noodle dish thing.

"Does anyone wanna watch a movie?" Harry asked. We all nodded and El went upstairs to pick out one. Human Centipede. Really El?

"Eww this movies so gross," I complained.

"Eh, it's not that bad." Harry shrugged. I gaped at him.

"Are you fricken serious?! People are being sewn onto other peoples arses! People are literally having people shit in their mouth and they have to eat!" Harry's face screwed up in disgust.

"Your right, it is completely disgusting. I still wanna watch it though." He winked and pulled me closer. As the movie played I burried my head into Harry's chest, so I didn't have to see all the grousem stuff.

"You watch Greys Anatomy an obsessive amount, shouldn't you not be grossed out." Harry leaned down and spoke in my ear. I shrugged.

"Oh well, it's freaky." I leaned back on his chest again, loving the feeling of his secure arms around me, holding me close to him. I looked across the room and saw El watching me and Harry adoringly. I made eye contact with her and she gave me a small smile before turning her attention back to the tv. Her and Louis were sitting next to each other, but not close at all. I frowned and picked up my phone, not bothering to sheild the screen from Harry.

To Elllll: What's wrong babe?

I got a response almost instantly.

From Elllll: nothing, all's good :)

Harry scoffed quietly while I rolled my eyes at my phone.

To Elllll: stop bullshitting.

She looked at me sadly, then to Louis who was completely oblivious.

From Elllll: its Louis.....things are well, different between us. I don't know what it is. Is it..is it possible I don't love him anymore.

My eyes widened and Harry's jaw dropped. I know this because his jaw dropped onto my head. I elbowed him, and he quickly shut it. I quietly stood up and walked towards the bathroom, purposely bumping El on the way. She stood up and followed me into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

"El?" I didn't need to say any more. I knew my voice said everything. She let out a breath and sunk down to the floor.

"Bella what am I doing." She whispered. I sighed and sat down next to her.

"El, are you...thinking of breaking up with Louis?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know....maybe. We just arnt like we used to be. He's really distant and honestly, I'm not sure if I even care." I gasped. I couldn't even imagine El and Louis not being together.

"El...are you serious. Don't you think you should talk about this with Louis." I asked.

"Bella, I'm saying I don't think Louis cares either. I think we're falling out of love with each other. Look can we just talk about this tomorrow, please?" I nodded and we left the bathroom. I went back to Harry's arms, he immediately pulled me close to him and I breathed in his scent.

"Everything okay?" He asked quietly. I hesitated.

"I think so." He pressed a kiss to my forehead before turning his attention back to the T.V. Not wanting to watch the movie, I picked up my phone, this time shielding it from Harry's eyesight, and going on twitter, scrolling through.

Berrylover: aww notice how every time Bella moved, Harry would always bring her back into his arms. They are so cute, and she's so pretty!

NiallsNandos864: oh my god Harry is so in love with her. Did you see how much he panicked when she got sick, then later when she squealed. He's looooovesick. I wish was gorgeous like her.

Alana135: Bella Ramos=Perfection.

OneDirectionInfection361: Bella and Harry are so damn cute. I mean did you guys see them, they are just so right for each other. He's sexy and she's beautiful.

MayaLove: Note to self...don't force Bella to have a lot of butter.....unless Harry is there because then he will be the PERF boyfriend he is.

CharmaineLouise: I'll admit, I wasn't sure about Berry at first, but after today, how can I not totally ship them?! I mean did you see the two?? They just.....I can put it in words how perfect they seem together.

Directioner1300: okay wtf Harry are you okay? Is this some sort of early mid life crisis because your like falling for that fat slut. Like seriously Harry.....what are you doing.

EndTheDark: oh my god Berry is SOO cute I just.....I can't even. #I'maBellanora #Directioner #BerryStymos

GottaBeYouLou: eww Bella is so ugly and she doesn't deserve Harry! Why did he choose her. She it fat and ugly and is only with him for the money and fame. #fuckoffBella

I put my phone down my phone and placed my hands over Harry's. Without a second gone by he opened his hands and held mine. I leaned my head back on his chest, snuggling into the warmth of his body, trying to forget all the rude twitter posts. I took a deep breath, banishing the tears I knew were about to start forming.

"You alright?" Harry leaned down and spoke softly and concerned in my ear.

"Yea, fine. I'm gonna go take a shower though." He frowned at me, confused.

"Why? You had one this morning." I mentally froze and thought of a believable lie.

"After throwing up that butter thing I think I just want a shower," I smiled. He nodded and withdrew his arms frown around me, letting me stand up. I grabbed some clothes before walking to the bathroom, locking the door. I took of my top and turned to the side, examining my stomach.

"It's not completely flat.....my stomach should be flat.....it should be flat....flat....." I muttered quietly to myself. I thought about the tweets.

She's so pretty....Gorgeous like her........=perfection......she's beautiful.....fat slut.....so cute......fat and ugly.....doesn't deserve Harry....

I sucked in my tummy to where it should be. I need to eat much less, and exercise more.

She's beautiful.....fat and ugly......doesn't deserve Harry.....gorgeous like her.....fat slut

I turned to face the shower, putting the water on and waiting for it to warm up, then peeled off the rest of my clothes. I looked in the mirror again.

Fat and ugly......doesn't deserve Harry.....gorgeous like her.....fat slut.

I momentarily closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to force the tears not to come.

Fat and ugly..... Doesn't deserve Harry......Fat slut

I again checked that the door was locked before stepping into the steaming water. I closed the door and let the water run over my body before angling the water away from me and kneeling down in the shower. I let my right hand run under the water before sticking two of my fingers down my throat. I gaged a few times before throwing up. For a long time I purged and let the vomit go down the drain. The tears fell and my throat hurt. But I need to do this. I need to loose the weight. After I don't know how long, the vomiting stopped my stomach clenched and forced me to bend fully over. I retched again, and the same thing happened. I knew that there was nothing left in my stomach. I washed my hands and face under the hot water before slumping my back against the shower, and eventually standing up.

Letting the water continue to run. I carefully stepped out of the shower and onto the mat. Avoiding looking in the mirror -as I knew I would have tears stains, red eyes and a pale face- I leant down to the draw, unlocking it. I reached in and grabbed out was used to be a small but sharp pair of scissors, however I had snapped it apart. I closed the drawer and stepped back into the shower, closing the shower door. I stared at the blade. What the fuck are you doing?! Don't you dare let that touch your skin. You have a loving boyfriend, wonderful friends. For gods sake you practically have a fan base! Your life is fine so what are you doing?! The seemingly only rational voice scolded me. I let out a long sigh, reaching for the shower door, when I stopped, remembering the words.

Fat slut.....doesn't deserve Harry.....Fat and Ugly.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

DOESNT DESERVE HARRY.

I let out one, small sob. For the fact that I soo don't deserve Harry, I lifted my wrist up and brought the blade to it. That's too obvious dipshit. I mentally facepalmed my self. If I cut my wrist it will be way too obvious. I changed the position of my arms, bringing the blade to my upper shoulder. I pressed the blade down and slowly dragged it along my skin, deeper with every millimetre. I bit my lip to stop myself from making any sound, then took the blade away and let the water run down my shoulder. I sucked in a quick intake of breath and brought my hand to my mouth to muffle the sound that escaped from my lips.

But it wasn't a sound of pain, it wasn't a gasp of hurt.

It was the rush of relief. The familiar burning sensation in my arm. The coolness that spread through my body. The relaxation and excitement that tickled my mind.



All the feelings that I had missed so, so much.

Notes

PLEASE PLEASE READ


Extra long chapter to make up for the long time...plz don't hate me

1. I'm very sorry it took close to two weeks for me to post it, and I thank you for being to very patient. You guys are really the best, I mean seriously 100+ subscribers and 80+ votes!! Your awesome <3

2. again, I just want to say if you have any questions or concerns about.....yeah about what's obviously going on with Bella, please don't hesitate to message me. I don't bite ;) also I'm not sure if you would have realised, what happened in this chapter, the nice things that were said about her slowly faded until all she could hear was the bad things, this is what really happens to people. Please never, even in a joking way, call someone ugly or fat or a slut or something because it doesn't matter who you are, they will remember and it will effect them.

3. PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR. I WILL LOVE YOU FORVEVER. my URL is: thebeautyofmidnight

4. Please please please comment and vote. Srsly I love ur comments so much and it would mean so much if you comment. And vote....if you've voted already then that's pretty cool so thanks :)

5. I will try my best to update ASAP but I have homework and personal issues. And I'm trying to have a "healthy social life" srsly wtf who had time for a not Internet social life? Everyone's like 'let's do this shit tomorrow' and I'm like yea sorry, I either have homework, need to write, want to blog, want/need to sleep, family event, or some other shit. And if I don't then I want to use that precious time to do nothing.

Please be patient with me, I'm just as annoyed as you are that I'm not updating. My teachers this year are a lot more observant......so I can't rally write during class like I did last year.



6. Last but not least I love you and hope your happy. Also you are beautiful, yes you reading this right now, you are truly gorgeous and I hope you never forget that.

Comments

Holy fuck I need to know what happens. Please just tell me Harry and Bella make it through everything and end up together because I might lose my mind if not. This is so good but holy shit my emotions

relentless.x relentless.x
11/18/16

Just read this tonight. Please please do a sequel. Your writing is amazing.

I'm so ready for the sequel. I can't function until I know what happens. You are an awesome writer!

This story is amazing I have read the whole thing in he past 48 hours and it's just amazing. You are great writer and I know it's been long but can you like write a sequel or something for closure... find out what happens with Bella and Harry? I need closure... Anyway your story is really good!!! =)

Please update! I just read this entire story today during classes! I REALLY need to know what happens to Harry and Bella! I need closure or else I go crazy! And I really want a sequel! Pretty pretty please! I'm even asking nicely, which is a surprise because, like you, I'm known to have a pretty fowl mouth although I'm American, so I don't have your excuse! ^_^