I started at the celling in the pitch dark. Dark spots danced around in the dark, my brain giving myself something to look at. I closed my eyes and was at a state of total relaxation until my body jutted forward and I let out a gasp.
I swung my legs off my bed and with two quick, swift, big steps I was at Juniors bed. I shook him quickly as I called his name. Junior got up startled hitting me in his action.
"For Christ sake what do you want Noah!?" he said with a sigh
"I know what she said" I said breathless from his hit
"What?" He asked confused
"I know what Nichole said" I said to him
He sat up and looked at me "what!?" He asked excited this time
"'But everything made everyone insane'"
"Okay what?!" He asked confused again "what the fuck are you saying!?"
"That's what she said 'it wasn't a loony bin, but everything made everyone insane'"
"What!?" He said "that women's crazy! It was a loony bin! And she should still be there because she's talking nonsense!"
I stepped back and sat down on my bed and stared at the floor before putting my head back to stare at the ceiling.
"W-what are you doing...?" He asked
I closed my eyes as I let everything she said to us run through my mind.
".....Anything?" He asked
"If I thought of something I would have told you" I said annoyed
"Oh sorry Albert, I'll leave you the fuck alone then"
Minutes and minutes passes by. Everything was quite in the room but nothing was coming to mind. It sounded like Junior had fallen asleep again. With my eyes closed I hung my head down and muttered her words to myself. When something sparked I opened my eyes immediately. Junior was sitting across from me staring at me.
"..got something...?" He asked sounding a bit weirded out
"She said everything there made everyone insane right?" I said
"She had also said that the past could have still been torturing her" I said
He stared at me waiting for me to continue.
"Torture." I said "someone can be tortured to the point of loosing their insanity"
"That's why I said it was a Lonny bin" he said "because it sounds like it is a loony bin, because per say you are insane or have problems and you go to a place like that, they try to treat you. But their treatments might make you feel more insane, feeling torturous"
"If my mother was insane they wouldn't let her out"
"But they made her better" he said talking slowly, the way you would to a kid to get the point across "but maybe the thoughts of that place would trigger her dark side as she would think of all these insane scary things"
"I don't know" I said
"I feel like we just keep guessing" he said
"We do" I said "it's all we have right now"
"How do we know when we guess the right thing?"
"I don't know, I guess when everything makes sense"
"Yeah I guess" he said "and I'm guessing we're missing a lot of things"
"I'm going back to bed, if you have another brake though save it for the morning"
I didn't answer him. I laid down in bed staring back at the ceiling again. I thought about my mother in the way of her in a place for crazy people. The word torturing running through my mind. If it was true that she was locked away in a room with people telling her she is crazy, "torturing" her in the way of making her better.
If it was true, I wanted to know the reason why she was considered crazy, I want to know the reason she was put there. It didn't make much sense to me, none of it did. Why would my stutter strike a problem with the past then? Why would Nichole say it was work? Was it a cover lie? The scars on her back....
Images of my mother's back flashed through my mind, images of the times I had seen her back, so many years ago. She stopped showing her back years ago because of me, it seemed as if her shirt was stuck to her back, hiding her scars. Her scars....
My mind and its thoughts were slowing down. I was so tired, exhausted. I thought about everything and tried to put it all together as I drifted off to sleep.
It has been a few weeks, and nothing has really happened. The girls at the adoption centre had said they've only been thorough half of the adoption papers in the back room. Junior had set up the "hang out" for both of us. I wasn't really happy about it, I didn't want to do anything like this with the girls. I want them to find out if they have the papers or not, and I wanted to figure out my own things with my mother, not spend time with them.
I sat with Junior under shade of a tall tree in my uncles backyard. Junior seemed to be sleeping, with his hands resting over his eyes. I sat restless. I've been restless ever since the night we talked to my "aunt" Nichole. I was thinking that night, I was putting everything together, but I fell asleep as I did so, and lost everything I put together, like shutting down your computer before saving the work you have done, my mind erased it. It's killed me for weeks.
"Junior" I called
"What?" He grumbled
"Can you tell me what you think my aunt meant?"
"Your mother was in a Lonny bin with her and they "tortured" your mother in a way of her treatment" he said sitting up straighter
"Hm" I said
"Hm?" He asked
"Thinking" I mumbled
I stared at our feet in the green grass that was long for a yard. I pulled at the grass at my side as I thought, throwing little bits of it to the side at a time.
"I remember" I mumbled to myself
"When you went to bed that night I was thinking before I fell asleep, I made a lot of sense but I fell asleep!"
"What was it?"
"It was something about how my mother always got sad" I said "I can't make sense of why she gets upset when I say I hate my stutter, but her back..makes more sense"
"What is it?"
"Get the image of my mother's back in your mind" I said
"Yeah, okay got it"
"Think about the word "torture" Nichole used"
I stared at him as his face twisted into different expressions.
"Listen mate, I didn't mean she was actually...tortured" he said "I was just say-"
"No! No! Just see what I'm saying!" I said "I'm saying that maybe just I don't know maybe she was actually tortured!"
"Maybe...but...." He started
I waited for him, he seemed to be thinking deeply and was concerned.
"I don't know" he said finally with a sigh "tell me do you honestly see someone being tortured? In this day an age? Even eighteen-nineteen years ago?"
I sighed "not really" I mumbled throwing more grass
"That's all I'm saying" he said "the whole fire thing of her falling into it is as good as a guess though"
I sighed "this is so frustrating"
"Yeah, I'm sure we will figure it out, but in the meantime mate, guess what we are doing tonight?"
"Please no" I said "it's not tonight, please"
"Oh come on! Lighten up! You don't wanna spend the night with a hot girl?"
"I'm not good with girls, so no"
"You got to give it a try or you will die alone, and quite frankly a sad Virgin"
He grinned at me and I tried to hide my chuckle.
"Funny. But I'm not doing that" I said
"Two things, getting with that girl at the end of this night, and losing my virginity with a girl I'm just getting to her know tonight"
"Ah see, you do have the right thought "getting to know her" and I was saying, not tonight but what about a few months?" He said looking at the sky "what if you really like this girl, what is she's like you and you find her interesting?"
He looked like he was daydreaming, looking up at the sky painting a picture of me and the girl from the adoption centre, painting the perfect picture he helped set up.
"Earth to Junior" I said snapping my fingers "once this month ends we're here for one more and we go back to Australia"
He looked back at me and cleared his throat. "Right" he said "I was just saying things could happen"
"But there not" I said pushing myself up off the ground "I'm a socially awkward teenage boy who's never had a girlfriend, nor been on a date and is eighteen years old and still hasn't lost his virginity"
He got up after me and brushed himself off, and I could hear him laughing to himself under his breath.
"Who said I lost mine?" He said
"You telling me you haven't?"
"No, I have just why would you assume?"
"Because the way you look, just looks like you have. You look like this guy who gets all the really pretty girls at school and just like to the type who has done that"
"Well thanks, if you mean my charming good looks" he said with a laugh "but you should look in the mirror for a bit longer than usual, not saying I'm attracted to you but mate I know when I see a good looking person, male or female"
He laughed "you know what I meant"
"By the way, I really love that description of yourself, real funny" he said laughing
"Whatever" I said with a laugh myself "all of its true"
"Well, I'm going to shower and get ready for later, we're going soon, before sundown"
"You've got everything planned out for this don't you?"
I laughed "of course you do, what some romantic double dinner before we go out and do something?"
"Actually yes, after dinner we make our way down to the beach just in time for sundown and we enjoy a fire on the beach and share stories, whatever the girls want" he said with a charming smile throwing his hands into the air as he backed away to the house
I shook my head at him and laughed, he was caught up in the dream of a perfect date.
As he made his way to his shower I made my way out back in the yard to my mother's art shack, doing what I came here for, to solve this.
Sorry for not updating I've just been really busy with life lol, but in all seriousness I went on a vacation, I've been really busy with school and exams are coming so I'm just trying to he through this and hopefully I can get back on track. This is most likely my last, or second last book on here (maybe you already know but I'm writing another book at the same time was this one on here for another series (never letting go..)) so I'm not sure what one is going to finish first (have a feeling this one is short). But anyways for being one of the last (before I move to wattpad) I want it to be good.
Anyways sorry for rambling, please comment and let me know what you think, and make my day! Also please rate and I love you all lots!! <3 :-)