Because of Rosalie
Chapter 01: Thought You Were Different
Blush tinges his cheeks, I notice when he leans back after kissing my forehead a few soft times. Tonight marks the end of our fifth date. So far, things are looking upwards - he's so kind, such a gentleman. It's hard to find people like these days, I'm quite lucky that I did come across him.
"I had a wonderful time, once again. Thank you." Harry says with a faint chuckle.
"No, thank you. Dinner was lovely. And.. the movie was great. I had fun, thanks." I smile lightly, avoiding his heavy stare.
His hand lifts from his side, touching against my wrist, "You're cute when you blush, you know."
"I'm not cute." I roll my eyes, ignoring his comment entirely. He's constantly telling me that I'm attractive, but I always brush it off because it isn't true at all.
"You're right, you aren't cute." He sighs, immediately grabbing my full attention. My eyes dart up, furrowing my brows as I feel a wave of pain wash through me. He just insulted me, how dare he do this to me on my own front steps. Was I completely wrong about him? Is he just like all the other guys I've tried to work things out with? Does he just want to get in my bed-
"Harry." I slap his arm lightly, shaking my head at my own stupidity. He laughs at me, clearly amused by the little stunt he pulled on me. Once he calms himself down, he closes the distance between us and gently places a hand on my waist. I find myself lifting my arm between us to press my palm against his chest, the nice material of his shirt making me want to grab more of it.
"Can I.. kiss you, Jen?" He asks softly, his lips dangerously close to mine now.
He smiles slightly before we both shut our eyes - letting the feelings take over us. His mouth pushes against mine, our lips touching completely, we have yet to kiss before this moment. I feel my heart explode into a billion fireworks, lighting me up inside more than anything else ever has. Never have I felt this special, this incredible, before. His other hand comes to my cheek, holding me still as his tongue pokes at the small place between my lips. I allow him access, reminding myself to just stay strong and let this happen. I want this more than anything. I want this relationship, I want this love, I want him. The second his tongue touches mine I feel myself bringing my hands to his warm neck, keeping my front pressed against his.
This triggers more to happen. His hand slides to settle into the small of my back, just above the swell of my butt. I let my right hand wander onto his head, my fingers sliding through his messy hair. It looked lovely at the start of our date, but head banging in the car to rock music from the 80's can alter your appearance.
In the midst of everything - the kiss, the feelings, the touching - I barely hear the door swing open behind me. I try to pull away from Harry's mouth, but he doesn't allow it. He just smirks gently against me, pressing be as close as we can get.
"Mommy, you're home!" I hear an angelic voice say, making my heart stop beating. All of our movement comes to a stop, time freezing along with us. How could I be so stupid to let this happen again?
Harry pulls away, shock written across his face. I go to speak, but he just takes a few steps back. He looks past me, staring down at the little girl standing in the door way. I turn around myself, only to see my beautiful daughter in her pink nightgown, standing beside my mother.
"You never said you-" Harry begins to speak, but just as my eyes make their way to his face, he stops himself.
I put my hands on his chest, pushing him slightly so he gets the point to go down the steps. He does as I wish, but not without difficulty. He's dramatically tossing his hands around in the air, unable to speak his thoughts in the middle of all this.
"Harry-Harry I was going to tell you." I say lowly, not wanting my daughter to overhear this conversation - I know it'll get bad, it always does.
"Mom, take her inside!" I yell out, looking over to see my mom try to drag her away from the door.
"Fuck, Jenny. This isn't something you say on a fifth date." He says with panic running through his voice. "This is shit you tell someone before you even go out. I-I can't believe you didn't.. fuckin' tell me you had a kid."
"Harry, please, let me explain." I feel my lips quivering, my body is trying so hard not to break down in front of him.
"No, no. no! I'm.. I can't do this, Jenny. I can't." He shakes his head rapidly from side to side, taking steps backwards towards his car which was parked on the side of the road.
"Please, please, don't go!"
"I thought you were different.. but you've been lying to me this entire time. Just like everyone else.. you lied."
Without another word, Harry rushed to his car and sped off down the street - leaving me in the dust. I feel my knees buckle beneath me, how could I allow this to happen once again? Why did it have to occur with Harry? He was so special to me, I have real feelings for him - and now it's all left to rot away.
"Mommy?" I hear my sweet baby say my name once more, making me remember the reason I get up every morning.
I sit down on the steps, running my face over my hands - not caring about smearing this stupid makeup. What's the point anymore? He's gone, he's gone just like all the others. All because of the fact I'm too afraid to tell anyone the truth.
"Don't cry." I feel her touch on my shoulder, making me sob even harder.
"Rosalie, c'mon now. Let's go get ready for bed." I hear my mother say behind us, trying her best to get my daughter inside. I know it wasn't her intention to let Rose open the door, I'm sure she peeped through the window and saw me standing there. I'm very sure she just missed me and wanted to see me after a few long hours without me.
"Where your friend go, Mommy?" Rosalie climbs onto my lap, putting her small hands on my face to force me to look into her beautiful eyes, the same shade of blue as mine.
"He had to go home, sweetheart."
"He made my Mommy cry. I don't like him." She puts on her angry face, which pulls a smile to my lips.
"He's a big meanie, isn't it?" I say, knowing that she'll agree with me.
"A big one."
I can't help but to wrap my arms around this blessing of mine. I often wonder where I would be if I didn't have her to keep me grounded. Yet, despite knowing she's such an amazing gift, I do become curious about how life would have turned out if I hadn't went to that party that night, if I hadn't caved in to that boy. But then I remind myself of how lovely, wonderful, and perfect life is with Rosalie - and I forget all that other stuff.
The silence surrounding me is quite suffocating. Instead of turning on the television, I allow it to engulf me. Rosalie is asleep beside me, she hasn't got much of a room to herself. My mother's house only has two bedrooms. Obviously, she has her own, and then me and Rosalie share this one. It's always been this way, ever since she was born four years ago. At first, I wasn't sure about how sharing a room would go but then I learned to love it. I got to spend every moment with my beautiful child, and that is the greatest thing anyone could ask for.
There's a part of me that wants to call Harry, or text him at least, and try to explain why I didn't inform him of my parental status. Yet, the other half of me is just begging me to let this go. It's so hard to let it go, though. Harry is nothing like those other guys. I've never went further than a second date with anyone before. We were on our fifth, and doing so, so well. I dream about him all the time - not in a filthy way. I dreamed about our future, how he would be around Rosalie. The stronger part of me wins. I take my phone off the charger and roll onto my back, unlocking it in the process.
I glance at the time, it's just a little before midnight. Harry and I spent many nights texting back and forth until the morning hours, so I know he's awake. Plus, it's Friday night, he isn't going to bed early. My heart begins to pound violently in my chest as I type up the text, afraid and anxious at the same time. I wonder if he'll read it. Has he blocked me? Has he deleted my contact? Does he know my number by heart? Does he- I send it without thinking anymore. This needs to happen, whether it ends well or not.
To Harry: (11:54 PM) I want to apologize about how things happened tonight. I'm sorry I didn't tell you beforehand. Like you said, I should have mentioned it before we ever went out the first time.
As soon as the text is delivered, I come up with something else to say that I wanted to add, so I sent another text. I had this feeling a few times, so if he is asleep now.. he'll wake up to a lot of notifications in the morning, all from me - the person he probably hates the most right now.
To Harry: (11:55 PM) It's not that I wasn't ever going to tell you, I had it planned out. I get very nervous when it comes to telling people about her because I'm afraid of what would be thought of me.
To Harry: (11:55 PM) I completely understand if you never want to see me again or even if you don't want to respond to my texts. Just please know that I'm sorry. I'm not ashamed of her, if that's what you think. I'm just picky about who I let around her. I don't want men coming in and out of her life, that's why I wanted to wait.
To Harry: (11:56 PM) You are so different than anyone else I've ever went out with. I actually thought about telling you on our next date, clearly that'll never happen though. Like I said, I'm sorry Harry, I really am. I'll leave you alone now.
My lungs are feeling quite heavy, my entire body feels like someone pushed me off a building. There's only a bit of relief though. At least I got it off my chest, I told him the things running through my mind - well, a few of the things.
I was truthful with my words. I never wanted Rosalie to have the childhood I did. The last thing I wanted my daughter to witness was her mother's constant supply of men entering and leaving the house - never the same man twice. I didn't want to raise her like that.
She's a part of my life, a part of me, that I keep hidden for the best reasons only. I am not ashamed of her. I'm very aware that I'm twenty with a four year old daughter. It doesn't bother me, I love being a mother to that precious soul. She's so beautiful, so perfect. I have never regretted my decision to keep her instead of putting her up for adoption. When I looked into her pretty eyes the very moment she entered this world I knew I could never let her go.
Having a child doesn't make things easier, that's just the honest part about it. It is hard to date. It's hard to go out with my friends, because I hate throwing her off on my mother. But then again, I only have one friend. They all claim to want to be apart of your child's life until you actually have your baby. Everyone disappeared, called me a freak - started to make up horrible stories about how big of a whore I was. Stacey stayed by my side through it all, she's the only person I have other than my mother.
I'm yanked from my thoughts by the sound of my phone dinging a few times. I sit up on the bed, staring down at the screen. My heart starts to race rapidly in my chest, my lungs are working in overdrive as I quickly take in breaths - is this real?
From Harry: (12:02 AM) I had a nice time with you these past few weeks, Jenny, but we're over.
- first off, thank you for reading this. This concept is something I haven't really done before, so I apologize if you didn't enjoy reading it. However, if you did like what you read above, I would love to hear feedback in a comment or message if you'd like. I am so excited to finally have this concept of mine out there - I hope you enjoy. Please subscribe to keep up with updates! xx -J
**this isn't a spoiler, just something you should know -- Harry is not the little girl's biological father!
(and yes, the name of the main character is inspired by myself, haha! I was blank on names)
QUICK THINGS -- I didn't include a character list because I just feel like it isn't very necessary. I will describe my original characters as the story progresses :)